Imam Ibn Qudamah, a renowned Hambali Jurist, mentions a narration in which Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was reported to have said:
“Do not begin intercourse until she has experienced desire like the desire you experience, lest you fulfil your desires before she does.”
Can you please verify the above
This narration has been cited by Imam Ibn Qudamah in Al Mughni, on the authority of ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Aziz (rahimahullah).
(Al Mughni, vol. 8 pg. 136)
I have not come across this narration in any Hadith source, nor have I come across the chain. (ولم أره في مسند عمر بن عبد العزيز للباغندي)
However, a person’s wife definitely has a right over him in this regard.
Sayyiduna Abu Juhayfah (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reports:
Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) made a bond of brotherhood between Sayyiduna Salman and Sayyiduna Abud Darda (radiyallahu ‘anhuma). Sayyiduna Salman visited Sayyiduna Abud Darda and noticed that Ummud Darda was shabbily dressed, so he asked her, ‘What is the matter with you?’ She said, ‘Your brother Abud Darda is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world.’
Sayyiduna Abud Darda then came home, prepared some food for Sayyiduna Salman and told him to eat, as I am fasting. Sayyiduna Salman said ‘I will not eat until you eat’. So he ate. In the night, Sayyiduna Abud Darda went to stand in Salah but Sayyiduna Salman said, ‘Sleep!’ so he slept. He got up again and Sayyiduna Salman said, ‘Sleep!’. When the last portion of the night set in, Sayyiduna Salman said, ‘Now get up’ and they both performed Salah.
Sayyiduna Salman then said: ‘Certainly your Rabb enjoys rights over you, your body/soul enjoys rights over you and your wife enjoys rights over you, so fulfil the rights of those who enjoy rights over you’
Sayyiduna Abud Darda (radiyallahu ‘anhu) then came to Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and related to him what had transpired. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Salman has certainly spoken the truth”
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith: 1968)
Hafiz Ibn Hajar (rahimahullah) The grand commentator of Sahih Bukhari, when enlisting the laws derived from the above narration states “Another law which can be derived, is that a woman does enjoy conjugal rights” (over her husband).
(Fathul Bari, under Hadith: 1968. Also see: Ithafus Sadah Al Muttaqin, vol. 5 pg. 372-373)
The above narration clearly indicates that a man is certainly responsible for fulfilling the needs of his wife. Failing to do so, will result in sin.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows best
Answered by: Moulana Suhail Motala
Approved by: Moulana Muhammad Abasoomar