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Nikah

A mother’s marital advice to her daughter

Question

Can you provide please the authenticity and the Arabic text of this narration?

Asma bintu Kharijah al Fazari said to her daughter when she was getting married:

“You have left a nest in which you grew up and proceeding to a bed which you know not and a companion with whom you are not familiar. So become for him an earth, and he will become for you a sky. Become for him a place of rest, and he will become for you a pillar of [support]. Become for him a bondmaid, and he will become for you a servant. Do not make excessive demands from him, for he will then loathe you. Do not distance yourself from him, for he will then forget you. Should he draw near to you, then draw close to him. Should he keep his distance, then stay away from him. Be mindful of his nose, his hearing and his eyes such that he smells nothing from you but that which is fragrant, hears nothing but that which is good, and looks at nothing but that which is beautiful.”

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How to create harmony in a marriage

Question

Is this narration authentic:

  عَنِ الثَّوْرِيِّ، عَنِ الْأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ قَالَ: جَاءَ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَجِيلَةَ إِلَى عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، فَقَالَ: إِنِّي قَدْ تَزَوَّجْتُ جَارِيَةً بِكْرًا، وَإِنِّي قَدْ خَشِيتُ أَنْ تَفْرِكَنِي، فَقَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ: إِنَّ الْإِلْفَ مِنَ اللَّهِ، وَإِنَّ الْفَرْكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ، لِيُكَرِّهَ إِلَيْهِ مَا أَحَلَّ اللَّهُ لَهُ، فَإِذَا أُدْخِلَتْ عَلَيْكَ فَمُرْهَا فَلْتُصَلِّ خَلْفَكَ رَكْعَتَيْنِ، قَالَ الْأَعْمَشُ: فَذَكَرْتُهُ لِإِبْرَاهِيمَ، فَقَالَ: قَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ: وَقُلِ: اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِي أَهْلِي، وَبَارِكْ لَهُمْ فِيَّ، اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي مِنْهُمْ، وَارْزُقْهُمْ مِنِّي، اللَّهُمَّ اجْمَعْ بَيْنَنَا مَا جَمَعْتَ إِلَى خَيْرٍ، وَفَرِّقْ بَيْنَنَا إِذَا فَرَّقْتَ إِلَى خَيْرٍ

 

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