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A mother’s marital advice to her daughter

Question

Can you provide please the authenticity and the Arabic text of this narration?

Asma bintu Kharijah al Fazari said to her daughter when she was getting married:

“You have left a nest in which you grew up and proceeding to a bed which you know not and a companion with whom you are not familiar. So become for him an earth, and he will become for you a sky. Become for him a place of rest, and he will become for you a pillar of [support]. Become for him a bondmaid, and he will become for you a servant. Do not make excessive demands from him, for he will then loathe you. Do not distance yourself from him, for he will then forget you. Should he draw near to you, then draw close to him. Should he keep his distance, then stay away from him. Be mindful of his nose, his hearing and his eyes such that he smells nothing from you but that which is fragrant, hears nothing but that which is good, and looks at nothing but that which is beautiful.”

 

Answer

This narration appears in non primary sources like Ihya ‘Ulumid Din without a chain of narrators.

(Ihya ‘Ulumid Din, vol. 3 pg. 228, Ithafus Sadah Al Muttaqin, vol. 5 pg. 405/406. Also see: Kitabul ‘Iyal of Imam Ibn Abid Dunya: 136)

 

Arabic text

أسماء بنت خارجة الفزاري قالت لأبنتها عند التزوج إنك خرجت من العش الذي فيه درجت فصرت إلى فراش لم تعرفيه وقرين لم تألفيه فكوني له أرضا يكن لك سماء وكوني له مهادا يكن لك عمادا وكوني له أمة يكن لك عبدا لا تلحفي به فيقلاك ولا تباعدي عنه فينساك إن دنا منك فاقربي منه وإن نأى فابعدي عنه واحفظي أنفه وسمعه وعينه فلا يشمن منك إلا طيبا ولا يسمع إلا حسنا ولا ينظر إلا جميلا

 

And Allah Ta’ala Knows best.

 

Answered by: Moulana Suhail Motala

 

Approved by: Moulana Muhammad Abasoomar