Question
Please tell me the authenticity and the source of the following:
A man brought his son to Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) and said:
“My son does not obey me, he is disobedient to me”. Hearing this Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) said: ‘Do you not fear Allah regarding disobedience to parents?’ Sayyiduna ‘Umar then mentioned the rights of a father over his children. The boy said: ‘O Commander of the Believers! Don’t the children too have rights over their father?’ Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) said: ‘Yes! the children too have rights on their father.’ ‘What are those rights?’ asked the boy. Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) replied:
‘First of all, he should search for a good mother for his son. [He should marry with a virtuous, religious woman, and must not marry any woman of questionable nature and doubtful character]. The second right is that when he begets a child, he should name it with a good name, and the third right of the child is that he should impart religious knowledge to him and teach the Quran.’
The boy said: ‘My father has not discharged any of these rights. Firstly, the woman who is my mother is a slave woman that he bought for 400 dirhams. Secondly, he has not named me with a good name. They have named me Ju’al nor has he taught me even one Verse of Quran.
Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) turned his attention to the boy’s father and said: ‘You are saying he is disobedient, whereas you have disobeyed first!’
Answer
Faqih Abul Layth As Samarqandi (rahimahullah) has cited this incident without a chain of narrators. I have not come across the complete chain.
(Tambihul Ghafilin, pg. 126)
Imam Bayhaqi (rahimahullah) has recorded two Hadiths of Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) wherein the following rights of a child over his father are explained:
- The father should give him a good name
- The father should hire a good wet-nurse to suckle the child
- The father should inculcate etiquette and good mannerisms
- The father should get his son married when he reaches [a suitable age]
(Shu’abul Iman, Hadith: 8299-8300)
And Allah Ta’ala knows best.
Answered by: Mawlana Suhail Motala
Approved by: Mawlana Muhammad Abasoomar
Checked by: Mawlana Haroon Abasoomar